Denied re-entry to Paraguay & a Laryssa sighting

We spent the day in Posadas, Argentina.  Afterwards, Paraguay denied me readmission to the Country.  That is not a fun experience.  I begged, I pleaded, I claimed lack of language understanding, I begged, I pleaded... all to no avail.

I called the Sisters - "Yo necesito ayuda!!!"  The Sisters warned it would be a while because of the lengthy line for the bridge.  After sitting for an hour at Immigration, Laryssa (that girl that I got kicked out of Jardin for flipping me the bird) showed up with her mom at the Immigration office.  I am sure they both love me.  Turns out Laryssa and her mama are besties with the lady that refused to allow my admission.  You have never seen me kiss so much butt.  Upon Chelsey's suggestion, I went over and said "hi" and displayed amazing amounts of interest and compassion towards my former student for 10 minutes - in the presence of the immigration lady.  The lady who denied me admission did not even flinch.  This display of caring emotion won me no favors.

An hour later the Sisters arrived.  I was flustered when explaining the situation to the the Sisters and they thought I was in Argentina.  They waited on the bridge for 1 hour before finding us.  Before I explain the actual problem, you should know that I am in Paraguay in the Sisters house, safe.

The problem is this:

1. When Chelsey and I arrived we got a 3 month Visa at the airport (valid through May 28).  We are in Paraguay for almost 6 months so we accepted we would have to get a new Visa around May 28.
2. To get a new Visa, your passport must be Valid for ATLEAST 6 months following the issuance of the Visa.
3. My passport was set to expire within 6 months following May 28 SO I needed a new passport.
4. I got a new passport.
5. My original Paraguay visa is in the old passport.  I was advised by both a man in the immigration office and the US embassy that this is not a problem.  I just need to carry BOTH passports for the time being (old passport with the Visa and the new passport).  Later, when I get a new visa (in my new passport, I can ditch the old passport).
6. The lady at the bridge in Paraguay does not agree with this logic.  She believes that, because my old passport is invalidated, all the Visa's are also invalidated.  Hence, NO ENTRY TO PARAGUAY.

After hours of sitting on the floor at Immigration and preparing to be deported (see my point of view below), the Sisters arrived and I explained the situation.  They argued with the woman at immigration for an hour (Chelsey thanked them for being our lawyers tonight) and, ultimately, the woman agreed to provide me a 3 day pass so she could consult with her boss.  I am calling the US Embassy first thing in the morning.  It is a national holiday tomorrow (Labor Day) so I hope the US embassy is open.  One of the other Sisters is going to call her friend that works in Immigration.  I am not confident in either of these solutions.  I think it is likely I will have to travel 12 hours to this city in Argentina (Clorinda) to get a new Visa (in my new passport) in the coming 3 days.

On the bright side... I did not get deported... but check back on Friday because that could change.

Friday's Five

Five things they have in Paraguay:

5. Toilets that flush backwards.  Upon further research, the distinction between flushing direction in the northern and southern hemisphere is some sort of myth.  It all depends on the direction that the water is introduced, and the shape of the toilet, not on the Coriolis effect.  Did you all know this?  I feel like my entire time in the southern hemisphere has been some sort of fraud.

I'm keeping this video on here anyway, because it took so long to upload.

4.  $.75 nail polish.  It ain't O-P-I, and it might give me cancer or something, but it's a nice diversion, and the Sisters love it.

3. Glow-in-the-dark crucifixes. Like in every single room... Except mine, thank goodness.

2. Families on mopeds. This is more like two families, but you get the point.

1. Catholic recitals to the tunes of "Sound of Silence" and "Blowin' in the Wind" during church services. When this happens, I just full-out sing the original lyrics. I don't know the words to the Catholic stuff in English, much less Spanish. I am much more familiar with Simon and Garfunkel's greatest hits and the Forrest Gump soundtrack.

Help us collect clothes for kids!

As some of you might know, we are about to have visitors.  Katie and Emily are coming to visit in May and Chelsey's mom is coming in June.  All have agreed to pack light and fill their suitcases with clothes for the poor kids that go to the school we teach at and also for kids that live in a really poor neighborhood here ("debajo del puente").  Nancy is having all her Kindergartners in KY donate clothes to the kids here (what an awesome idea, right?) and Katie and Emily are helping my collect clothes from friends and family in Henry County.

So, the hook... we are trying to collect as many clothes as we can, especially for kids age 3-8 and we need your help. The kids need everything but our real focus is on stuff that can be worn year round. It does not get too cold so heavy winter coats really are not needed.

Typically kids only have a couple outfits and they are filled with holes or do not fit.  If you have any stuff you might want to donate or know anybody else with young kids that might be interested, please let us know.  Somebody can come and pick stuff up OR you can drop it off at Brammell Law Office, in New Castle. 

If you don't have clothes to give, but want to donate...

We are currently working with people in the community in compile a list of projects that we hope to fund in the coming couple of months.  In the next week I hope to have a list of projects up on the blog with instructions on how you can make a tax-exempt donation.  The money will get sent straight to us and then we can spend it on the project you select from the blog (no overhead costs).  If you would like to make such a donation, keep your eyes peeled for the coming post or send me us email at WHBrammell@gmail.com.

We have gotten to know these kids and their families so well in such a short period of time.  They have welcomed us to this place as if we were family.  We really really appreciate any help that you can provide.  

God Bless, 

Bill and Chelsey

More from Jardin

My boy Edu got himself some new yellow ropas.  Now if I were a good teacher, I probably wouldn't compare him to Winnie the Pooh.  If that we're the case, however, you would never get to enjoy these photos as much as I do.

In other news, Maestra Gladys is still not better, and B and I are becoming champs at improvising in Jardin.  I say improvising, because what we do can most definitely not be considered teaching.

Brammell is really great at working with the children.  Me, I'm getting better at not vomiting when I have to wipe the behinds of the girls in my class.  As much as I love my beautiful niece and nephews, I somehow managed never to have changed a diaper.  Now, I spend most of my mornings in el baño with a bunch of three-year olds that I barely even know.

I'm telling you, these are the most regular human beings in the world.  I have six girls, and they average six cosas segundas per day.  Did I mention that the school day is only three hours long?  One girl went three times this morning, and twice yesterday.  I finally broke down and bought some baby wipes.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much (for many reasons, but for one), because Brammell was in charge of cleaning up the gallon of pis in the floor and all over one niño this morning.  The kid screamed, "Muchacho" at Brammell and then started emptying his bladder in his pantalones.  All we could do was watch as the puddle beneath his feet grew larger and larger.  ("Terminaste?"  "...No")  He saturated every item of clothing including his shoes.  Pobre niño.  Pobres Chelsey y Bill.  

Virgen de Itacua

On Sunday (April 13), Chelsey and I went on a short pilgrimage (14 kilometers) following mass.  It was a beautiful day and we wanted to do a bit of touring so we walked to see the Virgen de Itacua.  The site houses a chapel and, according to legend, the Virgin Mary appeared to people at this location.  On December 8th of every year approximately 30,000 people walk from Encarnacion to the site for prayer and mass.  

There was not material available at the site (in Spanish or English) so I have pieced the story together from various websites and from what I can understand of the Sister's account.

The shrine is located on a point that juts out into the Pirana River (where Chelsey and I enjoyed a picnic - photo on left).  The water is shallow off the coast and it was a very dangerous place for boats to cross.  The legend says that a white figure appeared on the shore to provide ships a vantage point to avoid a collision with the rocks and ultimately make a safe crossing.  It was somehow identified that this figure was the Virgin Mary.  Sometime in the early twentieth century, missionaries installed a small cave (Photo Below) and inserted a statue of the Virgin into that cave and the pilgrimage has gained momentum ever since.

The site now houses a chapel (photo below), a monastery and is home to a hermit.  They have mass on Sundays but the chapel is nearly always open.  People go to visit the chapel and then frequently spend time in the park area surrounding it which is quite lush and is on the river.

I did read that the church has never "certified or documented" any miracles at this location so I leave it to you to make a judgement as to what really did, or did not, happen.  How the church would go about certifying this (or any other) miracle is beyond me.... it is not like the FDA certifying food as "organic" or some housing authority certifying a house as "LEED Compliant."  Anyhow, for what it is worth, the miracle is not "certified" by the Church.

Friday's Five

5. About once a week or so, as we're walking around our bario, I look for the imminent ice cream truck that's blaring the hokey polka music.  At this point, I weigh the risks of eating food out of a truck in a foreign country versus the satisfaction of a popsicle... I mean, the truck is probably really dirty, but the popsicle is probably wrapped up, and I did get that tetanus booster before I came...  THEN, I  remember in disappointment that there is no ice-cream, that people in Paraguay just actually enjoy polka music.

4.  I finally found time to learn how to French braid my own hair!  Only about 20 years after it would have been useful.  My next challenge, upon Brammell's request, is the Katniss Everdeen.

3.  Sometimes being a volunteer means filling up 75 kilos of flour in individual packages.  This is all well and good if you don't consider my irrational (yes, irrational) fear that giant spiders live in large bags of flour.

2.  I have it on good authority that going too fast on the merry-go-round will, in fact, make you puke.

1.  There is no such thing as a substitute teacher in Jardin... unless you count me.  Today it was just me and 24 Spanish-speaking three year-olds.  Get well soon, Gladys, por favor!!!

Poster Children

Sisters (and Paraguayans in general) really love posters. The bulletin boards and name tags in our Jardin classes are amazing.   (Remember this?)

One major component of our time volunteering here has been making posters for all types of occasions. One Sunday, (our day off) Sr. Susanna was inspired by the sermon to make this "Road to Easter" scene.

The thing is, throughout our respective educations, Brammell nor I received any formal poster-making training. (I'm assuming this happens at either cheerleading camp or sorority meetings.)   Neither do we possess any natural talent in the area.  

Exhibit A:  This is the result of an entire day's worth of work:

Now if you understand this, your Spanish language and poster interpretation skills are better than mine.

Exhibit B:  The birthday decor for a party in Jardin last week versus the display that I made for a Sister visiting from Argentina on Easter (note the recycled bunny).

womp womp...

4 Year old flips another kid the 'bird' and is kicked out of school... lands herself in juvie.

I went into this morning thinking Jardin was going to be light and easy.  The bus that brings kids from debajo del puente (under the bridge) was broken so many kids were not here.  Our class only had 19.  Easy, right?  Not so much...

There is one girl in the class, Laryssa (photo right), who has been in trouble much of the year.  She always has her tongue out, does not listen, kicks, hits and spits at other kids.  One day last week, Chelsey posted about this girl when she barged into the bathroom and started in on doing the "segundo cosa" (#2) while other kids were in the room.

Sister Noemi had a talk with the girl a few days ago and she had been good for about a week.  When you talk one on one with the girl she is fine.  I actually think she is a good kid.  I think, despite all the scolding, she likes me a bit which makes me feel all the worse for being the rat that got her booted from Jardin.  SO, the story:

Today, when the sister was in the classroom, Laryssa gave another kid the dede media (middle finger) and I immediately, without thinking, scolded her.  You cannot give other kids the middle finger!!  This was the second time that I had seen her do it and the first time I let it slide.  The girl is only 4 - she has no idea what it means.  I am sure she sees it at her house and imitates the behavior.

Anyhow, the Sister was in the room (and, I think,  had been looking for an excuse to talk with the kid's mom).  The Sister asked me what she did and I explained (in Spanish):

     Me:  "She gave her the middle finger"

     Sister:  "So?"

     Me:  "She gave her the middle finger."

     Sister:  "So?"

     Me:  "She gave her the middle finger" (while also demonstrating the act).

     Sister:  "So?" (while mimic'ing my action and shaking around her middle finger)

     Me:  "That is a really bad word."

     Sister:  "No??"

     Me:  " Yes, that is a really bad word.  Ask Lydia..."  (Lydia cooks and cleans in the Jardin.)

I thought the middle finger was something that transcended languages and generations but a few have escaped without knowledge of the word.  We know for a fact that other Sisters understand because one Sister received the middle finger while she was driving us around in Posada, Argentina, and was quite embarrassed when she received it.  She laughed nervously and her face turned red.

Anyhow, the Sister scolded the girl and she got sent to sit at a table all by herself (photo to the right).  She was better for the rest of the class but only because she had been severely scolded by the Sister.  After school Sister Noemi talked with the girl and her mama.  

We found out later that the little girl was kicked out of school.  The Sister thinks she needs a specialist to work on her attitude.  I agree that she needs more help and the Sister absolutely knows what she is doing because she has been working in education for her entire lifetime as a Sister.  I am just a little sad because I feel like her behavior could have continued to improve had we had the chance to keep working with her.  I am sure the little girl is also sad and I am positive that her mother (who looks and acts exactly like her daughter) is crushed.  I feel terrible playing a part in getting her booted from class... but you cannot go around flippin' kids the bird, right?

In other news, we have just entered autumn and kids are dressing like it is winter in Massachusetts.  It is like 75 degrees outside and this kid (Francesco) had a t-shirt, turtleneck, sweater and then his uniform on.  He serves only as an example of how EVERY CHILD IN JARDIN dresses for the "cold."  

We go to play outside and project #1 is removing all unnecessary layers of clothing because the kids are always burning up.  All this and we have not even experienced the afternoon...

New Look

My class, la sala roja, got our uniforms last week. Adorable, right?   I love that this photo captures Nauel spitting water on the other kid.

On a separate note, the Comments section is up and running. We'd love to hear from you!

Friday's Five

Luciano and his mother, after his meal.

5. "I didn't know whether to look or not...so I just stared." Brammell reflecting on our visit with Luciano and his mom during Luciano's lunch.

4. Tarantula count to date: 5.
I'm breaking the rules by posting this. Sr. Ylse told me not to tell or else our families won't want to visit.

Giant Spider #1

3. "Brammell, will you go ask that boy in the bathroom if he needs help?" B: "He says he's fine, but all I could see of him were his head, feet and hands. The rest of him is sunk down in the toilet."

2. Brammell pauses, deciding whether or not to place a piece of cake in front of a sleeping Sister at the dinner table. The whole room looks up and in a moment of knowing awkwardness, we simultaneously attempt to keep our composure. Some with more success than others.

1. We had our first lesson with our new Spanish teacher, a sweet local girl in her first year teaching English in high school. She asks us, "my students always say, whatthefuck. What does that mean?"

Holy Week is a whole different ballgame in South America

I know that this post is very tardy and crazy long but you have to understand that Holy Week was absolutely crazy (and long) and it took us every bit of a solid week to recover.  When was the last time that you went to church for 6+ hours a day for 5 straight days?  Chelsey and I read BOOKS (plural) of the Bible while sitting in church (because we don’t understand what they are saying, so, why not read?).

Before I get into details, I need to provide a little background on Holy Week and on what we were expecting.  First, school is cancelled for the entire week and stores are shut down Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  We were excited about not having Jardin (Pre-school) for the week.  The sisters told us “it as a time for reflection and relaxation.”  This was NOT OUR EXPERIENCE and I do not believe it was their experience, either, unless people here relax by increasing their responsibilities 10-fold.  Reflection...check.  Relaxation...not so much.  The week was beautiful and there was a lot of time for reflecting but relaxation was not a key component.  Anyhow, the details will provide you with an understanding of the aforementioned rant.

It all started with Palm Sunday (3-24-13).  Chelsey and I got downstairs early, dressed for church which we expected to commence at 9:30 (as we had been told the evening before).  At 9:20, one of the sisters wandered out and asked me to cut "small but beautiful palms" from the Palm tree in the yard.  This was, I thought a beautiful thing, and so I cut Palms consistent with what people carry in church in the US - a single blade of the palm.  Chelsey and I waited around but the Sisters were nowhere to be found.  

At 10:15 the Sisters wandered out, looked at what I had done and asked what they (referring to the blades of palm) were for.  They seemed disappointed and told me to go back and cut the entire Palm branch (not just the Blade).  I figured we were supplying the whole church with Palms.  I also thought we were an hour late.  We got to church and learned that Palms here are not limited to single blades like they are at home.  People craft really intricate baskets and have floral arrangements that they bring with them (above right).  The sisters did not craft anything so instead we carried 3 foot by 3 foot palm branches (see photo on right).  I asked why and they said something to the effect that "they like to be noticed."  As were removing them from the truck we realized they were covered with sharp thorns.  These thorns had to be removed so we could hold the palms.  It was a lot of yardwork that I did not expect before church.  On top of that we still could not figure out why things were running an hour behind.

Despite being a bit perturbed about the misunderstanding about mass times, we had a great mass, a nice lunch and were ready for Youth Group in the afternoon (we were told it started at 3:30).  That time rolled around and nobody was to be found.  Why was everyone late?  No big deal - we had stuff to prepare in the house because we were scheduled to go to the other house in Encarnacion that evening and then take a bus to Asuncion (departing at 12:30 AM and arriving in Asuncion at 6:00 AM the next day).  We had agreed with the sister to leave at 9:30 PM for the other house.  At 9:30 we went downstairs and the Sister was not ready.  She was in prayer.  We did not want to be late with our ride to the other house so we got her to take us to the other sister’s house.  We sat around and watched TV at the other house.  We had some time to burn as we were not supposed to leave 12:30, Midnight.  It was agreed that we would go to the bus station at Midnight and we really did not want to be late and miss the bus.  Midnight rolled around and the Sister was not to be found.  Where was she?  Why was she late?  We went and tracked her down.  It was only 11:00PM…. NOBODY HAD TOLD US THAT PARAGUAY LOSES AN HOUR ON PALM SUNDAY.  The whole day we were early by an hour!!!!  Four times that day we were confounded about why people were late.

Chelsey and I spent the night on the bus to Asuncion and arrived early on Monday (3-25-13) in Asuncion.  Long story but I needed to go the embassy for a new passport.  We arrived at 6:00AM.  We spent the morning on buses, taxis and touring the city.  At 1:00PM we went to the embassy and then got back on the bus and returned home at 11:30PM that evening.  The day was spent in extreme heat, wandering around the city.  It was nice to have some freedom but it was exhausting, too.

Tuesday (3-28-13) we relaxed in the morning but had work all afternoon with the Sisters.  We had been told that a few people were coming for the weekend and so we needed to clean the house.  Cleaning here is different than in the US because they don’t have any carpets and all the floors are tiled.  When you want to clean the floor you just throw a bucket of soapy water on it and then push the water (with the collected dirt) out the door or into the shower stall.  Once that is done you go back and dry the floor with a rag.  This happens at least once a week for the whole house (like >5,000 square feet) because the dirt outside is red and dusty – easily being tracked into the house.

On Wednesday (3-27-13) we had a two-hour mass in the morning for the Priests in the archdiocese to renew their vows.  When we got home around Noon a bunch of people started arriving at our house.  In total, our house population increased from 5 to 15.  As I said, we had been prepared that a few people were staying at our house for the weekend but we just believed it was a thing of convenience.  We knew there would be a lot of church and we just thought people wanted to visit, etc.  This was an incomplete understanding of what was about to happen.  Little did we know that we were about to begin the hardest 4 days of church attendance I have ever dreamed of experiencing.    

On Holy Thursday (3-28-13) the Sisters let us “sleep in” until 8:00 AM and we had morning prayer in the Chapel.  Then, we were tasked with various chores in the house until our next group prayer/reflection session which started at 11:00 and went until 12:30.  After that, we had lunch, cleaned up after lunch and immediately left for “Pascua Jovenes” - Youth Easter) – a 3 hour youth program to get people hyped up about Easter.  Pascua Jovenes deserves a little description.  Each day was 3+ hours of short readings, reflections, socializing, singing and dancing.  The singing and dancing is very similar to what we do in Jardin (with 3 and 4 year olds) but the target audience at Pascua Jovenes was 14-17.  (That being said, the actual attendees were more like 18-30 years old.)  I am not sure why more people were not upset about this.  People seemed to enjoy the dancing and singing but I had trouble getting into it.  Nevertheless, 18 year-olds in Paraguay totally ‘dug’ it (photo above).  The majority of participants were also involved in youth group but any of the kids just came in the door from the street.  It was an interesting program.  I could not help but reflect on how successful such a program would be in the US.... teenagers in Church for 3+ hours for 3 consecutive days?

Following PJ, we had a 30 minute break and then we went to the 2+ hour mass for the evening.  Chelsey and I got home and ate dinner around 9:00 PM, cleaned the dishes and were in our room by 10:30 PM.  At this point, we had been going pretty much non-stop for 14 hours.  PLEASE SOMEONE, TELL ME HOW THIS DAY IS “RELAXING”?

Holy Friday (3-29-13) turned out to be a lot like Holy Thursday.  In the morning, Chelsey was exhausted and slept while I went to Stations of the Cross in the neighborhood.  It was really beautiful and I thoroughly enjoyed it for the first few stations UNTIL the sisters recruited me to assist with the microphone/amp (left) system.  The roads here are made of big chunks of stone and are not smooth.  Potholes are everywhere and pulling the amp on a luggage cart (while it was attached to a lady who was using the microphone and guitar as we walked) was not doing the trick.  Anyhow, the Sisters asked me to help and so I ended up carrying the amp with another man (with very short arms) in the Barrio for an hour.  At one point I had this crazy burning sensation on my feet and looked down – only to find out that I was standing in a red ant hill and there were ants all over my feet.  I know it is wrong but I kept thinking of parallels with the stations of the cross.  I compared myself to Simon, carrying the cross up the hill.  It was painful and I was hot, sweaty, sunburnt and exhausted before 10:00 AM.  With all that said, the coolest thing about the Stations of the Cross was that the group praying got larger as we walked through the Barrio.  It started as a small group of 20 people (above right) and concluded in the Chapel at the Sister's house with 60 or more people - standing room only (above right).

The day continued at a breakneck pace.  In the afternoon we opted to work at the house and skipped the 3 hours of Pascua Jovenes.  Mass was from 6:00-8:00 PM and then the Passion started.  I got home from the Passion at 12:00, Midnight.  Chelsey had fallen asleep while Christ was before Pontius Pilate and caught a ride home with the older Sisters who were also interested in going to sleep.  Sincere reflection – the Passion was really nice on Friday night.  I had just read (earlier in the day) the Passion in Matthew and it was a good exercise to have it acted out.  I cannot remember ever going to a Passion Performance in the past and I missed the Mel Gibson film.  It is definitely a good way to get focused on what is important at Easter time. 

Saturday (3-30-13) was similarly trying.  We spent the day preparing for a large Easter Party the Sisters were throwing.  Each year they alternate the venue and this year we were hosting.  All the Sisters from Encarnacion and also from Posadas, Argentina were going to be in attendance.  The day was spent in preparation for the Easter Fiesta and for Mass in the evening… 

At 6:00 PM we began Easter Mass (right).  I know that everyone experiences this Marathon Mass, but I think it is more pronounced in Spanish... 7 readings, 4 baptisms and 2:30 hours later we were singing the final song.  

Following this marathon we went next door for the final segment of “Pascua Jovenes”- the grand finale.  We were under the impression that the night would be a long one – from 9:00 PM to 1:00 AM.  At 1:30 AM, Hermana Marianna got out her Harp and started playing.  She is amazingly talented and I loved hearing it but, in the future, I would love to listen to the harp more during the day when people are supposed to be awake.  At some point, I started taking time stamped photos with my watch (above) to document the insanity that was happening.  I felt like I was watching a UL v. Notre Dame game from earlier in the year - HOW MANY MORE OVERTIMES CAN THERE POSSIBLY BE????  The party was still going strong at 2:30 AM when Chelsey and I had to go home. 

Chelsey was exhausted on Pascua (Easter) (3-31-13) and stayed at home (Mass the evening before had counted for Easter Mass) while I went to the small church in our Barrio for Mass.  When I returned home the house was in a flurry in preparation for the grand fiesta.  Sisters came from all over and we had a feast.  Pork, beef, chicken, sopa de Paraguay (traditional cornbread), vegetables, chipas (traditional bread), torta (cake) and helado (ice cream).  The day was spent sharing food, conversation around the table, and one final prayer service.  Everyone left around 5:00 and Chelsey and I crashed.

The week following Easter was a typical one.  We had Jardin everyday from 8:00-10:00 and then normal responsibilities in the afternoon.  We were blessed with a much needed rain day on Thursday and so our only responsibility was teaching English in the afternoon.

So, with a crazy two weeks, I have a few “take-aways” that I want to share:

1. “Relaxation and reflection” do not mean the same thing in all cultures.
2. Sometimes it is good to really dedicate some uninterrupted time in your life to thinking about your life (it might have been imposed this time around but I will try to replicate in the future).
3. Nuns have an unlimited source of energy.  If this source of energy could ever be bottled and sold it would put Red-Bull and Starbucks both out of business.  On top of this, you will NEVER hear a Nun complain about being too tired....I leave it to you to determine the source of their energy.

Bathroom Duty

This morning my three year-olds were taking turns making a handprint with fingerpaint as part of their Mother's Day gift. My job was washing their hands afterward in the bathroom. I was standing there helping three niños wash up when one of Brammell's four year-olds barged in, stripped down and started in on the segunda cosa.  (The second thing is polite Sister speak for going #2.)

I couldn't get those poor kids out fast enough. The bathroom was stinking up and the kids were still soapy, wet and confused.  (Of course, I attribute the source of their confusion to our very rude intruder,  but it might have something to do with my screaming in a foreign tongue, and my desperate attempts at blocking the view.)

I'm still baffled.  

Revelation

This explains so much.